Dropping the ball/The most beautiful and hideous drug

Well, it appears entries in this section of the site have been rather sparse. My excuse? An overabundance of work (for once). It seems all those late mornings in the past year have finally caught up with me. There was a time not long ago when I was only scraping by to pay rent and pills; pimping articles and pitches out to the lowest bidder and spending weeknights gallivanting about downtown music clubs.

But nowadays I seemed to have piled a number of courses onto my plate at the journalism buffet - leaving me nary 15 minutes to update my blog! So I apologize to anyone who has been hanging on my every printed word (yeah, right!) - frequent and regular posts will soon resume. A man's gotta eat!

Many in the arts community are well aware of the fact that freelance life follows a "feast or famine" cycle. Work comes and work goes. When it's sporadic, financing even the basic necessities of everyday life can be very difficult. Sometimes you'll walk 2+ hours just to save the $2.25 of a bus or subway ride. You return to the student diet of high, cheap carbs and the flirtation with scurvey. Any story/event you cover with a complimentary snack table or open bar is a jubilant blessing. Many times, you pace back and forth in your humble living quarters, wondering whether to call mom or dad to hook you up with a couple C-notes to help cover this month's rent. Luckily, something comes up and you're able to save face for at least another month. Bill payments are regularly forgone, only to be caught up in the future.

On the other bitter yet delightful hand, steady work results in a surplus of the most dangerous drug on the planet: money. When you have more than what you need, almost nothing else makes you happier. Stress evaporates. Worries are shoved into the periphery. Extravagant purchases and adventures become guiltless. And as soon as it depletes (because it always does), you're back at the bottom.

Nothing contents or contrists me more than money. Sometimes when work lacks and I'm busting open the pork credit union, I feel physically ill. And when it's hopping (like now), not even "walking on clouds" can describe the carnal elation.

So what can we do to wean ourselves off this horrible cycle of emotional dependence on capital? I'm slowly figuring it out. Many of you may know it already. But I've only been a "real" adult for a couple years now, so I'm slowly settling into this groove of buttoning down my priorities. It's about knowing who you are, and that material posessions or the pressures of the capital-driven world don't matter at all. Happiness is about having positive influences in your life and knowing how to keep them. These influences take many forms and are found in very distinctive locales. But as they slowly come into fruition, money begins to serve its mechanic role. Like any external controlling force it has to be moderated and controlled. Spiritual satisfaction ensues!

So yeah, please stay tuned to the waublog. It'll update more often with more coherent ramblings.

Posted by waub at June 18, 2004 12:34 AM