I speak English good

I have to, because it's my job. I'm professionally trained to know all the ins and outs of proper grammar, obscure definitions, structure, and the often ridiculous reasoning behind many of the obsolete rules of the English language. I say obsolete because the vernacular has long held a firm grip on day-to-day regular people-speak, and it's never gonna let go.

It even has a hold on me, but I don't care. In fact, I prefer it. I would rather say "Me and my buddy" instead of "My buddy and I". Slang is comprised almost entirely of poor grammar/the faults of language, but I embrace it. It just sounds way cooler. Back in the twilight years of high school, when I knew I was going to pursue a career in journalism, I made every effort to speak proper English. To expand my vocabulary. To speak clearly and concisely. To sound like a pretentious ass. Then people started looking at me funny, and it started chipping away at my own sense of identity. Goddamn it, that's not how someone who grew up on the Rez talks!

And later on, I developed a sort of Jekyll-and-Hydian struggle within my own head. I constructed my own alternate linguistic persona that existed only on paper. And aloud, I proudly spewed words like “ain’t” and composites like the double-negative. Not to mention the common four-letter pleasantries. By day, master craftsman of sentences and paragraphs. By night, another abiding dude. I made my way into journalism school based on that alone, so I was set.

“A”s in the classroom, and “eh”s on the street. It was perfect. Street cred, and academic cred – master of the double life! But it was too good to be true. Eventually I had to speak like I wrote due to a certain job opportunity. I can’t complain, it’s a sweet gig; but I’ve been forced to be more mindful of the words I choose to release from the depths of my tired larynx.

For now I’ll just keep on givin’er.

This post is dedicated to my beloved Aunt Anne, who takes every opportunity to correct my grammar, and remind me of my educational background and profession. Love ya!