Elaine Kelly, far right, holding my cousin Marion. I’m in my aunt Lorna Pawis’ arms. 1980

Growing up in our community of Wasauksing, Elaine was thrust into a leadership role early in life. Her father (my grandfather) died in a boating accident when she was just seven years old. In the years that followed, she became a role model and family leader to her six younger siblings, including my dad. My grandmother, Aileen Rice, instilled the value of education early in her children, and that set Elaine on her pioneering path as a student and eventually as a teacher. As a high school student in the late 1960s and early 1970s in Parry Sound, she fought to take humanities classes at a time when First Nations students were placed only in the vocational stream. She then went on to the University of Toronto, when First Nations students in post-secondary education in Canada was extremely rare. She eventually got her Master’s degree in education.

A long career teaching in communities across Ontario followed. She returned to Wasauksing in the early 1980s to teach at what was then called Ryerson Indian Day School. That’s where I began my education journey, along with her daughter Marion and many of our cousins and friends. She helped expand it beyond a kindergarten-only school. Prior to that, children were bussed into public school in Parry Sound after finishing their two years at “The Little Red School House.” Thanks to the vision and collective hard work of our community, the school was renamed Wasauksing Kinomaugewgamik, and I was fortunate to graduate from grade eight there.

That’s just one of the many gifts my auntie gave me on this path. Not only did a learn invaluable lessons from her as my aunt, she was also my teacher from grades one through four. She was the person who taught me how to read and write. Today, as an author and a journalist, I make my living thanks to those initial skills and gifts that came from her. It’s incredibly heartwarming and an indescribable honour to be able to carry that with me for the rest of my life.

And Auntie Elaine kept fostering that passion for words and stories within me well beyond our time together in the classroom. She continued to give me books for my birthday – everything from history to anthropology to politics to literature – right up until I turned 34 last month. The subjects of those books were always Indigenous. She wanted to ensure that I knew as much as possible about being Anishinaabe, and she wanted me to be proud of it. So many children, youth, and adults benefited from her enthusiasm and her passion to teach and share the culture.

My auntie had an extremely deep love for the Anishinaabe way of life, especially being Midewiwin. She was a third degree Mide in the Lodge, and enthusiastically supported and shared those beautiful traditional teachings. As such, she was incredibly loved and respected in traditional circles across Anishinaabe land. She truly embodied all of the great virtues extolled in that way of life: love, respect, truth, humility, wisdom, honesty, and bravery. She carried an incredible amount of knowledge with her, but she did so in a very humble way.

Above all, there was unrivalled kindness and strength in her spirit. She exuded love, and being in her presence was enough to heal and learn. She had an unmistakable laugh that will echo in thousands of ears for decades to come. Her bright, wide smile often made her eyes disappear, and that beautiful image is forever imprinted on my mind. Her ultimate legacy, though, is the successful education of all of our young people. She fought so hard to make sure First Nations children had all the same opportunities and achievements as non-Aboriginal students. She would say that each accomplishment in the classroom is a victory for all of us. She saw those victories as important steps forward in living on this land in a beautiful and positive way with everyone else. As such, her important and incomparable work will never die. And for me, her legacy lives on in the words I have written, and in the words that I will write.

G’gaawaabmin miinwaa Zhaawshkogiizhgokwe, g’zaagin.

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The Jimi Hendrix Experience
Hendrix is, of course, the greatest guitar player who ever lived, but he needed a larger-than-life rhythm section to complement his tremendous riffs and solos. Mitch Mitchell and Noel Redding (and later Billy Cox) matched that revolutionary guitar work with powerfully epic beats and bass lines.

Cream
Eric Clapton, Ginger Baker, and Jack Bruce added a harder edge to the psychedelic rock sound of the late 1960s and inspired generations of musicians to pick up guitars, basses and drumsticks. Cream made some of the funnest riffs to play.

Motörhead
One of the most influential pioneering heavy metal bands was also one of the most stripped-down. While the genre itself has evolved into diverse musical styles, Motörhead is the essence of that original loud, raw, fast, and unrelenting spirit.

The Police
They’re by no means a “heavy” band (they’re actually barely “rock”), but I was fortunate enough to fulfill a lifelong dream of seeing them live about six years ago in Toronto, and was mostly blown away by the fact that it was just the three of them (along with the obligatory backup singers) on stage for the whole show.

Nirvana
Although I’m a little tired of hearing some of their hit songs overplayed on the radio to this day, it would be a disservice to leave Nirvana off of this list.

Primus
Les Claypool is the Hendrix of the bass, and Primus is one of the most unique three-pieces in rock history because they made a traditionally rhythmic instrument the cornerstone of the band’s sound. That also made them one of the heaviest bands of their era.

Dinosaur Jr.
The second-loudest concert I ever saw was a Dinosaur Jr. concert at the Garrick Theatre in Winnipeg.

The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion
The loudest concert I ever saw was a Jon Spencer Blues Explosion concert at the Kool Haus in Toronto.

KEN Mode
I rave enough about these guys, but I think they’re the most exciting heavy band in Canada and I’m really stoked to hear their new album coming out soon. This three-piece from Winnipeg creates some of the loudest and most interesting sounds out there.

I know I left off a few (hold your fire Rush fans), but that’s where you come in. What are some of your favourite three-piece rock/metal bands?

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Idle No More march beginning on Victoria Island in Ottawa, January 11, 2013

A modern Indigenous movement is sweeping the country and a lot of Canadians don’t understand it. Idle No More has captured the hearts and minds of people of all walks of life from small communities to big cities. At its core, the movement’s objective is to protect treaty and land rights and strengthen Indigenous culture. But for the most part, that basic message hasn’t permeated the conscience of everyday Canadians, much to the frustration of the people driving the movement. To the latter, mainstream media as a whole has yet to effectively capture and convey the essence of what Idle No More is. National newsrooms initially ignored it. Then they scrambled to cover it. Now the spotlight is moving away from it. While Idle No More was born at the grassroots and proliferated through social media, in order to properly educate regular Canadians about it and wider ongoing Indigenous issues, mainstream newsrooms need more Indigenous journalists.

Idle No More began last fall when four women in Saskatchewan came together as lawyers and academics to teach others about the impacts of the federal government’s omnibus budget bill, or Bill C-45. The initiative spread quickly via social media and evolved into a comprehensive awareness movement that sparked rallies in cities across (mostly Western) Canada on December 10. While local mainstream news outlets covered those demonstrations, this collective effort largely didn’t make it into the lineups and layouts of national news broadcasters and newspapers. That prompted an immediate backlash from Indigenous communities. Movement leaders hinted at a general mainstream media bias against First Nations issues. Some even floated the ridiculous myth that there was a federal government-imposed media blackout on Idle No More. The more likely unfortunate reality is that many news decision makers just didn’t take note or understand what happened that day, and there weren’t enough Indigenous people in their newsrooms to convince them otherwise.

But in the weeks that followed, the mainstream national news media eventually caught up. All the while, Idle No More leaders, activists, and academics continued to fuel momentum by generating discussion with blog posts and elevated coverage in community and social media. That mainstream coverage peaked in the week that led up to the ill-fated meeting between chiefs and the Prime Minister on January 11. In the lead-up, national television and radio news shows devoted large segments of their programs to features and panel discussions on Idle No More, while the developments took over the front pages of national newspapers with deeper context inside. That coverage is now fading, even though the movement itself shows no signs of slowing down.

As Idle No More evolves, it’s up to mainstream news media to tell Canadians why it still matters to the mass of people speaking up for it. In order to advance the story, Indigenous journalists are potentially key resources needed in the newsroom. Aboriginal people (First Nations, Métis, and Inuit) are the fastest growing demographic in the country, especially in urban centres. Because these communities are closely connected, a journalist with the same background, knowledge, and understanding can intricately reflect what’s really happening at the grassroots.

Right now, many non-Aboriginal people who have been following coverage of the movement likely only associate it with images of rallies and round dances. But there are many other creative outreach initiatives happening at the local community level, like teach-ins and art workshops to help strengthen the relationship between First Nations and the rest of Canada. Journalists with Indigenous backgrounds can help find those stories and advocate for them in the newsroom in order to foster a better understanding in the wider community. And at the most fundamental visual level, seeing and hearing Indigenous reporters in broadcast or reading their names in print goes a long way in fostering a positive sense of trust and understanding among First Nations viewers, listeners, and readers.

While inconsistent (and sometimes inaccurate) coverage of Idle No More has soured many First Nations people on mainstream news media in Canada, they shouldn’t reject it as an outlet for their voices. The movement gained momentum and continues to thrive on social media. Articles, essays, and videos still go viral across networks. Interactive online discussions draw thousands at a time. But relying solely on social media to move understanding forward runs the risk of creating an echo chamber. Ideas and stories are being shared on a scale never before seen, but in social media they’re more prone to stay within the same networks (i.e. Twitter followers and Facebook friends) of like-minded people. The much wider scope of mainstream media can help extend these unique stories to the unaware. Also, in an world of evolving information sharing, social media and mainstream media aren’t mutually exclusive when it comes to raising awareness. Both can benefit from one another.

As a video journalist for CBC News in Ottawa, I’ve been able to cover local Idle No More events regularly. The newsroom has been very receptive to the stories around it because the producers understand how much these developments mean to people here. Still, I’ve heard ongoing frustrations from my peers in the community that wider coverage is falling short. Other viewers in the city may call my objectivity into question simply because I’m a visibly Anishinaabe person reporting on an unprecedented Indigenous cultural movement. But being able to tell these stories critically is the reason I wanted to become a journalist. When I was growing up, I never saw any other Indigenous reporters on TV or in print (although there were many blazing trails at the time, unbeknownst to me) telling the crucial stories I saw happening around me. I got into media to get the story out there. Now that awareness is on the rise, it should inspire a new generation of young journalists to ensure the story’s done right. Instead of spurning the media, become it.

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We got robbed. It happened sometime in the daylight hours on Monday. In the freezing rain, someone scaled our back deck and forced the sliding door open to enter our main-floor apartment. The polite young constable with the Ottawa Police Service who attended to our call figured he used our wood axe to pry the lock open. I say “he” because of the size 12 running shoe footprints he left behind in the frozen snow.

Once he got in, we can only speculate how he moved through our apartment, scanning and picking at our possessions at will. I figure he went for the most valuable and most easily disposable items first – both of our laptops that were on the coffee table in the living room. He grabbed one of my shoulder bags that was sitting on a chair nearby, and quickly stuffed them in along with the power cables.

From there, he probably doubled back and spotted the three camera bags on the window sill in the eating room. The cameras within weren’t top notch but still very usable, and thus, easy money for him. I don’t know how long he was in our place altogether, but it likely wasn’t long, so he had to make it worth his while. So he went to our bedroom on the hunt for jewelry and other valuables.

He dumped out one of my partner’s overnight bags (we had just returned from a trip to my home community for the weekend) in the likely hope of a major haul. He rustled through the tops of our dressers and actually found more trinkets on mine than hers. The scumbag took my favourite ring and bolo tie. He also thieved my external hard drive, which I absent-mindedly left out in the open. As it was the backup for the material on my laptop, I usually concealed it somewhere deep in one of the drawers. I must have been in a rush the last time I backed up and left it on top of the dresser. We noticed a few other minor things missing, but these were the most valuable.

No. I know what you’re going to ask, and the answer is no. We weren’t insured. We were in the process of getting tenant insurance, and were considering coverage quotes from two different companies. We planned on locking that in last week, but didn’t get around to it. We slept on it, and now we’re paying for it. It was a dumb mistake that we can’t fix.

Having to replace those things is an expensive headache. But on the surface they are just material objects that we can substitute. The material within them, though, is much different. As a writer, losing my laptop and my backup is just short of devastating.

Almost everything I’ve written over the past three years is now gone. I won’t be able to recreate any of it. It’s hard not to feel like a creative limb has been amputated. Or that a serious head injury has erased those poignant moments from memory. It’s heartbreaking and infuriating, and over the past week I’ve come to understand exactly what Kübler-Ross was talking about.

The one saving grace, though, is that I’ve been employing a secondary backup method for my major work-in-progress. I’m currently writing a novel as a follow-up to Midnight Sweatlodge, and every few days, I’ll email it to myself. It’s too valuable to lose and I knew early on I’d have to take extra measures to make sure it doesn’t disappear into oblivion. However, I didn’t email the most recent progress prior to the robbery, so I’ll have lost a few pages once my mind clears and I’m able to get back to it. It’s not a huge loss in the grand scheme of the project, but every writer knows it’s difficult to recapture what’s long gone.

And it’s hard to say how valuable the other random writings really were. These recent days have been nightmarishly introspective from a creative point of view, and the more I think about this event, the more I’m able to accept that everything else I wrote on that laptop is gone. I can’t really say what any of it was about off the top of my head. I feel that anything of real value that I’ve written over these last few years has been published. These now-lost writings were more or less random ideas, musings, and chunks of prose I was saving for something else, whatever that was supposed to be. If anything, this cleans the slate and provides a new creative opportunity. But that’s just my justification, and those closest to me can verify that I’m a “glass half full” kinda guy to a fault.

But the whole reason for sharing this isn’t to make myself feel better. It’s to warn you – especially the writers – not to make the same mistakes we did. For the sake of your wallet, get insurance if you’re a renter! And for the sake of your creative sanity, stash your backup! This can happen to any of us. Keep your home safe and keep writing well.

Peace and Love,
Waubgeshig (and Sarah)

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Propagandhi – Failed States

The top spot always goes to the album I listened to the most. These musical activists have progressed well beyond their traditional punk roots over their last few albums, and Failed States is no exception. Incorporating elements of thrash metal and melodic vocal hooks and leads, it’s a compelling listen from start to finish.

Die Antwoord – Ten$ion

The songs are catchy and weird, and for me that’s the basic allure of these South Africans. But the whole package goes a lot deeper artistically. As I saw Kinnie Starr aptly state on Facebook, they creatively embody tension in everything they do. They’re the white faces of rap music from an African country. He’s trashy and she’s sexy. They rap over electronic dance music. And their unique songs complement a powerful visual element.

A Tribe Called Red

This is the soundtrack to the modern urban Aboriginal experience. By successfully marrying traditional powwow music with contemporary dance music, these Ottawa-based DJs have been on a meteoric rise in 2012. Their music is exciting, innovative, comfortable, and hopeful. And most importantly, it’s bringing people together to a degree never seen before.

High on Fire – De Vermis Mysteriis

You can always count on High on Fire to deliver jaw-dropping heavy metal. The ferocious brutality is here as usual, but so is a slower, epic stoner metal groove found on some of guitarist/vocalist Matt Pike’s other work. If any band proves that any tempo can be heavy, it’s these guys.

Bison b.c. – Lovelessness

This modern metal masterpiece is made up of six massively epic songs that are raw, dark, and very emotional. This Vancouver four-piece is well known for its complex riffs and sprawling songs, but this album takes on a dominantly intense grim character that was only hinted at on previous albums. It’s a harsh, complex journey, but a fulfilling one both musically and emotionally.

Death Grips – The Money Store

Unfortunately the controversy surrounding this group (largely created by the members themselves) overshadowed the great music they released this year. The Money Store is their major-label debut, and it’s one of the coolest rap albums I’ve ever heard. It’s also very punk rock, and that explains the spirit of everything that happened after it came out.

Torche – Harmonicraft

Rock fans can rejoice that there are still bands committed to putting out heavy music with great melodies and lyrics. This is my favourite rock album of 2012. It’s fun, loud, and catchy.

The Melvins (Lite) – Freak Puke

The musical concept of this album was to strip everything down while maintaining the usual heavy Melvins sound. Sonically, it’s quite the departure from their last few studio albums, but it works. They gave the Big Business guys on rhythm this album off (hence “Melvins Lite”), and brought in bass legend Trevor Dunn to play an upright. The end result is a collection of really cool sounding rock tunes.

Jack White – Blunderbuss

It’s basically The White Stripes with more instruments and advanced percussion, and therefore better.

The Sword – Apocryphon

I love this band, but I wasn’t sure this album would make my list because it really pales in comparison to the last one. Still, they basically stick to the formula, and if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. It’s a treat for the ears of any rock guitar player.

What were your favourite albums in 2012?

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Deltron 3030
Lebreton Flats
Ottawa Bluesfest
July 10

Their self-titled debut is one of my favourite rap albums of all time, so I was excited when I heard they’d be playing Bluesfest. I wasn’t sure how they’d pull it off life, so I was even more stoked to see Del, Dan the Automator, and Kid Koala take the stage with a full band including a chorus and string and horn sections. They took those already monumental songs into another dimension and I was totally blown away.

Jack White
L’Olympia
Montreal
October 2

Although I dig his new solo album, in all honesty I went to this show because I wanted to hear his old songs from other bands. He ended up devoting about half of the set to White Stripes, Raconteurs, and Dead Weather material, much to my delight. The White Stripes tunes were especially phenomenal, thanks to the full electric band. They were way better than the original versions. I still get shivers when I recall the mighty opening version of “Dead Leaves and the Dirty Ground”.

Die Antwoord
Metropolis
Montreal
November 3

This South African rap/electronic outfit is one of the most interesting acts out there. They bring the weird on their albums and videos, and their live show was no exception. This was a loud and powerful one-hour set in my current favourite venue. They had the sold-out crowd moving from start to finish, and I can’t wait to see them live again. I haven’t had that much fun at a show in a long time.

KEN mode, Biipiigwan, Vilipend, Kloven Hoofs
Daily Grind
Ottawa
November 15

Metal bills are often jammed with lots of bands with varying degrees of talent. Most of the time I can’t get into all of them, and find myself using one band’s set to socialize/use the washroom/check Twitter. But at this show I can honestly say I genuinely enjoyed all four acts from start to finish. It was in a fun, intimate venue with a great turnout from Ottawa’s vibrant metal community. Also, it doesn’t get much more intense than seeing KEN mode live.

The Melvins
Lebreton Flats
Ottawa Bluesfest
July 4

They’re one of my favourite bands of all time and seeing them live is always a spectacle. This touring incarnation was called “Melvins Lite”, promoting their recent Freak Puke album with a much more stripped-down sound than usual. Down to one drummer and an unplugged bass, it was still louder and more robust than almost everything else at Bluesfest this year. Plus, Trevor Dunn is a bass legend, so any fan of the instrument could appreciate his expertise here.

Digging Roots, A Tribe Called Red, Daybi, Flying Down Thunder and Rise Ashen
National Arts Centre
Ottawa
March 21

CBC Ottawa hosted these four extremely talented acts in a special showcase at the National Arts Centre called Beat Tradition. The purpose was to feature some of the eclectic brilliance from the Aboriginal music community. The crowd here got a great taste of it all – from electronic dance music to hip hop to blues – for free. It was an honour to be involved, especially to be able to introduce my friends Digging Roots and A Tribe Called Red.

Mastodon
Lebreton Flats
Ottawa Bluesfest
July 14

From an aural standpoint, this set actually started out pretty poorly. There were a lot of issues with the sound mix for the first few songs that eventually got ironed out. Despite that, the band was in fine form and conveyed truly great spirits. It wasn’t my favourite set of theirs – focussing heavily on material from their fan-polarizing-but-still-great recent album The Hunter – but they seemed genuinely into it and showed the Ottawa crowd a lot of love. Good effort and attitude go a long way in a live performance.

Barn Burner
Maverick’s
Ottawa
February 18

Somehow I’ve always just missed seeing these massive Montreal metal monsters live. I finally got a chance to catch them for the first time this year. Any guitar player can appreciate what they do live. Epic riffs, leads, and solos that harness the true spirit of metal are the centrepiece of their stunning live shows. They’re one of the best metal bands Canada has to offer and everyone should check ‘em out in concert.

Anvil
Great Canadian Cabin
Ottawa
March 30

A buddy and I stumbled across this show as part of the JUNO festivities in Ottawa this spring. I haven’t seen the renowned documentary about these guys (I know, I know) so I didn’t have much of a frame of reference, but I had a blast. It was loud and their rowdy, dedicated fans around us made it a lot of fun.

Whitehorse
Hog’s Back Park
Ottawa Folk Festival
September 9

They play catchy, sweet folk music, and a big part of their allure is that the passion the married duo of Melissa McLelland and Luke Doucet share for each other carries over onto the stage. Whitehorse had hundreds in the crowd in the palms of their hands. The musical and emotional harmony they portray is really endearing.

What were some of your favourites? Stay tuned for the Top Ten Albums of 2012 coming in a couple weeks!

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Bison b.c. (courtesy The Obelisk)

Heavy Metal is a powerful international culture that features a wide array of genres and voices. A fan of heavy music can find a wealth of diversity in everything from sludge to grind to black metal originating from the Americas to Europe to Asia. Canada is home to some very strong and unique music with metal roots and influences. I enjoy all kinds of music, but today I find myself listening mostly to some of the modern heavy metal this country has to offer. Here is a potent dose of noteworthy Canadian bands you should know about:

KEN mode
Every song by this three-piece from Winnipeg is a sonic assault. Their music is loud, complex, and distinct. Heavy, intriguing and unconventional rhythms lay a foundation for intense vocals and guitar leads and riffs that erupt from a fierce core. Earlier this year, they won the inaugural JUNO award for metal/heavy music.

Bison b.c.
The riff is the essence of metal and this Vancouver band has more than mastered that tradition. Their songs mushroom into epic masterpieces of force that are often tinted with slight hints of psychedelia. Powerful and intricate, their music becomes even more immense when played live.

Propagandhi
They started as a punk band in rural Manitoba in the 1990s, but their sound has since evolved into something much faster and heavier. It’s an intriguing blend of traditional punk and thrash metal. Their left-leaning lyrics may not be for everyone, but their most recent album is the best I’ve heard this year.

Fuck the Facts
This brutally fast and loud outfit from Gatineau, Quebec defines grind metal and pushes it beyond the realm of physical possibility. The technical prowess of all five members is truly something to behold, and to see them live is a sheer spectacle. They also embody a commendable do-it-yourself work ethic and that dedication paid off this year with a nomination for the aforementioned metal JUNO.

The Great Sabatini
Some of the strongest examples of contemporary metal incorporate the more favourable elements of rock n’ roll and make them their own. These Montreal dudes tie heavy riffs to all kinds of tempos and top it off with a massive vocal onslaught. Their live shows are compelling, interactive performances that everyone should experience.

Biipiigwan
Disclaimer: one of my brothers is in this band, so obviously I’m a little biased. But for me being a fan goes beyond family ties. They capture a massive guitar sound and seamlessly go back and forth between the slow droning of sludge metal and the ferocity of grind. Their latest EP is free and features one of my favourite songs of the year, “Kingmaker”.

Barn Burner
As far as more traditional-sounding metal goes, it doesn’t get much better. This Montreal band is fast, loud, and catchy, and above all, their guitars shred. They wear their influences on their sleeves, and metal pioneers from the 1970s are audible throughout their powerful packages of songs. At the same time, they’re one of the most unique contemporary Canadian bands.

Alaskan
When done well, metal music can also be beautiful and soothing. This Ottawa three-piece has effectively carved out a sound of their own based on intricate guitar and bass melodies and slower, more hypnotic rhythms. They also complement that more ambient sound with a tidal wave of intensity.

Vilipend
The emotional core of good metal music is sheer aggression, and few bands embody that better than these guys from Toronto. That intensity is especially prevalent in some of their more hardcore-punk sounds, but their ability to take the listener to all kinds of sonic realms in just one song is their forte.

Swarm of Spheres
Monster riffs and tight, heavy rhythms make this Ottawa trio impossible to turn down. Their sound is reminiscent of both 1970s riff-rock and stoner metal of the 1990s and today. Perfect driving music.

Click the bands’ links above for music and videos. What are some of your favourite Canadian metal bands?

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I shot this shaky video very quickly on my phone on a Saturday morning recently in Banff, Alberta. I was there for a reading/performance at the Banff Centre as part of Wordfest. As I mention in the vid, it was a fun, enlightening and rewarding experience, but it sadly marked the end of a tremendous journey for me. Wordfest was the last scheduled event on what ended up being a national “tour” in support of my book Midnight Sweatlodge. To wrap it up, I wanted to send out a brief message of thanks before returning home (and show off that beautiful natural backdrop) so I recorded that clip and put it on YouTube. I’d like to extend that thanks and elaborate a bit more here on what this amazing experience has meant to me.

Midnight Sweatlodge was published in June 2011 by Theytus Books. It’s a collection of short stories about some of the unique experiences of First Nations youth in this country, all tied together by a common theme. I wrote most of the stories when I was a teenager growing up on Wasauksing First Nation (“Aasinabe” was for a Grade 12 English assignment and “Dust” came around the same time, shortly after the killing of Dudley George). Creative writing was a fun and challenging artistic outlet for me, and I wrote stories not only to pass the time but to also record some of the compelling, tragic, and funny experiences going on around me. It was a hobby, but I dreamed that one day I would be able to publish some of them in a book. However, I put the stories aside for a long time once I started university, and they stayed in the periphery as my journalism career kicked into gear.

Then in 2004 I decided to revisit some of the stories in hopes of eventually finding avenues for publication. I applied for a grant from the Canada Council for the Arts to revise them and tie them together with the theme of healing in the sweatlodge. I got the funding and spent two months finding ways to bring six stories with six very different voices together. I ended up dropping two of them altogether (you can find one of those stories here). The four that ended up in Midnight Sweatlodge were bound by an overarching narrative that attempted to bring the four main voices together. It was a challenge to do, but overall I was pretty satisfied with how it worked. Then I put the whole thing on the shelf again.

Throughout this whole process, I had been sharing some of these stories with friends via email. They were very helpful with feedback and encouragement. After revisiting some of those discussions, I finally decided in 2009 to shop it around. I mailed manuscripts to a few different Canadian publishers. After a couple of rejection letters, I got one later that summer that began this unexpected journey. To my absolute delight, Theytus offered me a publishing contract. The dream I had as a kid on the rez was coming true.

Theytus paired me with editor Jordan Wheeler, which was another unexpected thrill. I read his book Brothers in Arms when I was 16 and it was one of the books that really inspired me to pursue written storytelling. I couldn’t believe I would be working with one of my idols to make my own book a reality. We spent about a year sending it back and forth with recommendations and revisions. Jordan helped me tighten up the stories and overall, he made me a better writer. Finally, the book came out in June of 2011.

I thought I would have one book launch/reading, and that would be it. Everything that’s happened since has far exceeded any expectations I had of what life as an author would be like for me. I’ve had readings and workshops at events across the country over the last year and a half. It’s been a hugely rewarding thrill and I’m extremely thankful, first and foremost to Theytus Books for taking a chance on me and helping make my dream a reality. The entire staff has been a delight to work with, and I have to thank them and Jordan Wheeler for all their invaluable help.

I’d also like to say chi-miigwetch to my family and friends, and the people of Wasauksing who inspired these stories. CBC (my day job) deserves huge credit for letting me take the time off to take these trips, and also for helping promote my book. Thanks to sodiumpump for all the web help and support with the online presence. Thanks to independent and mainstream media across the country for helping spread the word, and thanks to the festivals who have invited me to share my book in places I never thought I’d get to. Another big chi-miigwetch goes to the veteran authors who have guided me on my way since my book saw the light of day. And last but not least, the biggest thanks goes to you, the reader. I humbly appreciate you checking out my book! I’m writing a novel right now that explores one of the themes only slightly explored in Midnight Sweatlodge. Hopefully it will be out someday soon. Chi-miigwetch!

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On the surface it’s an oddly amusing dichotomy. But RATM guitarist Tom Morello was offended enough by the notion of having a fan in Ryan to write a distancing op-ed. In it, Morello briefly outlines the basic social and political ideological differences between the candidate and the band, and points out that Ryan “likes the [band's] sound and not the lyrics.” This brief and superficial confrontation in the media lends itself to the typical over-simplified conservative/liberal American political discourse. It overshadows the cultural influence of political art and the innovative vehicles that can carry it. In the early 1990s, Rage Against the Machine used popular culture to speak to marginalized peoples with politics and music. As an Anishinaabe youth on the reserve, they became my favourite band.

I was 13 years old when their self-titled debut came out in the fall of 1992. My family lived in a small corner of our community with no access to popular radio or cable television. By that point I had become obsessed with music of all genres thanks to the influence of my parents and friends. But I had no easy pipeline to new music, and could only read about bands that sounded exciting in magazines like Rolling Stone and Spin. I first read about RATM in those magazines, and the “political rap-rock” descriptors I had seen over and over in print intrigued me. Eventually, I convinced myself I had to hear it somehow.

Back then, the Toronto Star had a service called “Starphone”. I read about it in the entertainment section. It was a toll-free number readers could call for various information, including new music previews. Although it was a free call, I wasn’t sure what my parents would think of me listening to music over the phone, so one day I ripped the number out of the paper and went up to the band office to give it a shot on the pay phone there. After punching through the various options on the key pad, I was thrilled to discover Starphone had in fact clips of the first three songs from Rage Against the Machine. All I needed to hear was the first minute of “Bombtrack” and I was sold. It was a riff stronger than anything I’d heard on my mom and dad’s Zeppelin tapes under a mesmerizing and electrifying rap vocal track. Even over the phone, it was the most unique music I had ever heard, so the next time we went to the mall in town I used my allowance to buy the CD.

In the following months I listened to the album almost daily. It was loud, aggressive, and innovative. I never knew that basic guitar, bass, and drums could make riffs, rhythms, and noises that compelling. But at the core, the instruments became just the powerful foundation for influential lyrics that were emblematic of my own experience.

At the time Indigenous peoples in Canada were becoming a more formidable political force than ever. The Oka resistance of 1990 created a broad ripple effect of pride and cultural revival in the years that followed. The original people of the land were fighting for their spot in the political mainstream, all the while turning to the old ways for strength and support. As a young teen, I enthusiastically embraced this renewed spirit that I saw blossoming all around me. And I also saw this movement reflected in the lyrics of RATM frontman Zack de la Rocha. Verses like these became intensely profound:

Holes in our spirit causin’ tears and fears
One-sided stories for years and years and years
I’m inferior? Who’s inferior?
Yeah, we need to check the interior
Of the system that cares about only one culture
And that is why
We gotta take the power back

On top of that, de la Rocha himself has Indigenous roots in Mexico, and up until that point I had never seen anyone Native in a big mainstream rock band. He spoke to me.

Then, the following summer I finally saw their video for “Freedom” at my cousin’s in Barrie (as mentioned, we didn’t have cable TV and Muchmusic on the rez). The clip pays tribute to jailed Lakota/Anishinaabe activist Leonard Peltier, a member of the American Indian Movement who many believe was wrongly convicted of killing two FBI agents at Pine Ridge in South Dakota in 1975. I had only heard stories of Peltier through my father and other activists. Now I was seeing his story broadcast to millions via a pop culture channel. It was surreal, but it solidified RATM as my favourite band in the world.

That admiration continued throughout my teen years. I made my friends turn down the music at a party so we could watch them premiere “Bulls on Parade” on Saturday Night Live prior to the release of Evil Empire. I saw them live for the first time when I was 18, on student exchange in northern Germany at the Go Bang Festival. I got to see them a few more times in the years that followed, notably in front a tumultuous crowd at the Palace of Auburn Hills north of Detroit in the fall of 1999, introduced on-stage by filmmaker Michael Moore. To me, they’re all fun and proud memories that still make my hair stand on end. But most importantly, they taught me to embrace who I was and to be critical of the evolving world around me.

At the same time, the irony of a band making a fortune off of its music and continuing to point fingers at the rich was never lost on me. And when art becomes politicized, it tends to date itself and thus threatens to dilute its own message as the years go on. RATM broke up in 2000, but has since played numerous reunion shows in recent years. When bands go that nostalgic route, I’ve always perceived it as a money-making scheme and have a hard time taking it seriously. I haven’t seen them live since they got back together.

Still, band members have chosen contemporary battles to fight, and as petty as this Ryan/Morello discord is, it’s proven that political art can always be relevant. The music, lyrics, and causes that Rage Against the Machine immortalized back in the 1990s are still easily accessible and just as pertinent today. There are marginalized youth in countries around the world; especially on reserves here in Canada. And if a song like “Township Rebellion” starts the same fire in a kid today as it did in me 20 years ago, the awareness and unity these artistic movements can foster will never die.

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I first moved to Toronto in the fall of 1998 to study Journalism at Ryerson University. I was 19 years old and already had experience living away from home. I spent a year in Germany as an exchange student when I was 17. There, I expected to feel like a foreigner and adjusted as such, and my host country’s affinity for my culture made it one of the best experiences of my life. But when many Aboriginal kids move to cities for post-secondary studies, it’s like being a foreigner on their traditional lands. Therefore, they have to seek out others like them for a sense of home, and they need the guidance of elders to reassure them they’re on a good path.

That’s where Lillian came in. When I started at Ryerson, there were only about 50 other Aboriginal students out of some 14,000, and it took me a few weeks to find them. We had a small peer support group that met regularly, but we didn’t have a regular visiting elder. So we planned monthly field trips to Dodem Kanonhsa, the urban lodge on St. Clair East. We met Lillian there, who was the Elder-in-Residence at the University of Toronto. We smudged, and sat and talked most of the time. She was there to listen to us and to bring us back down to earth when the city became overwhelming. She always told us to stick together, and to make sure we went back home once in a while. She reminded us that what we were doing was good, and that our career paths would benefit our people as a whole. Although we were at a different school altogether, she assured us her door was always open at U of T for us to drop in for a visit.

I graduated from Ryerson in 2002 and moved away from Toronto in 2006. I lost touch with Lillian after that, and for that I blame myself. But her words will always be with me, and I credit her among many others for keeping me on this path as a journalist and an author. Transitioning into an urban Anishinaabe wasn’t as difficult for me as it was for others. My mother is Canadian, and I’m extremely close with the half of my relatives that are non-Native. My home community of Wasauksing is essentially right beside the town of Parry Sound. So I’ve had lots of contact with the “outside” world since birth.

But for many other youth, it’s not that easy. Sure, it’s hard for anyone from a small town or a rural community to move to the big city. But in Canada, reserves were created to exclude Aboriginal people from the rest of society. And it takes many generations to shake that imposed “outsider” mentality. Also, unlike other cultures, there are no “Little (insert name of reserve/nation)” communities in most big cities. So finding people like you can be extremely difficult, all the while trying to maneuver vast, constricting expanses of concrete, glass, noise, and strange faces.

As long as our elders are there to guide us, young Aboriginal people will forge an even greater direction in this country. More and more are moving to the cities, more confident than ever in who they are and who they’ll become. And that’s thanks to the hard work and dedication of elders like Lillian. Miigwetch, Lillian. Baamaapii.

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